David replied to Abigail, “Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you to meet me today! Thank God for your good sense! Bless you for keeping me from murder and from carrying out vengeance with my own hands. 1 Samuel 25:32-33 NLT
Sometimes as a wife, we women have to truly and purposefully exercise what it is to be a help meet. I’ve listened to some women say that they are submissive to their husbands and that major decisions that would affect their lives, should be one that the head of the home should initiate because he is the protector, provider etc. While there is truth to that statement, we women need to remember our roles as help meets for our husbands.
I remember a time when my family was facing an unnecessary amount of stress, because of something out of our control at the time. I was getting more and more upset because in my mind, my husband didn’t seem to want to deal with that stress when I knew it was either to get away from the stress for a while or get rid of it entirely. So I decided that we needed to get away from the stress for a while.
When I told him my plan, he was so busy trying to deal with other stresses we had surrounding us at the time, that he was telling me to make the decision for us. I didn’t want it to happen like that. I wanted my husband to see the way I was seeing and not agree just because I said so, but because he saw what I was saying as a necessity. So, I began to stress myself out further. “Why can’t he just see what I’m saying?” I thought. “Why is it that I have to be the one with this idea alone? Why do I alone find it necessary to do this? Why can’t he take charge?” I was going on and on and on until he sat me down and said, “Hun, it’s not that I don’t agree with you, but my mind can’t take on analyzing another stressor. I trust that you can see outside of the things my mind is focused on at this time and I trust you to make a decision for us. Whatever you decide, I will go along with.” Then I sat and thought to myself, how easy I was willing to give up my power as a help meet because I wanted to submit to my husband and let him take charge, when all I had to do was continue to be the help meet that he knew God gave him.
Then I remembered the story of Abigail in the Bible. If she didn’t make that decision on her own and waited for her husband to change his mind, her whole household would have been killed. How many of us women are so busy being so ‘submissive’ to our husbands that we forget that we have our roles to play as a help meet? Things for the home, for the future of our children, maybe an investment opportunity, maybe to get a down payment for a much-needed car or another source of comfort. Now, I am not saying we should live a secret life behind our husband’s backs, but sometimes, just sometimes, we need to be like Abigail and make a decision we know for sure would be beneficial and best for our family.
Prayer: Dear Lord, help me to be the help meet you designed me to be. Help me to not lose focus of my role as a wife and to develop the much needed courage I may need at times to be like Abigail. Bless my family and may my influence be a sweet savor to them, I pray in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Devotional Written by: Zahra Francis